You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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