So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
