ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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