Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
This is classic penis vs brain.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
