i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
and she was petting her beer can
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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