Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
