is your mom at the bar?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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