I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I love how my cats smell like pot.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
