so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
