hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
