I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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