6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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