You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize