i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
