What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
why do cheetos always look like penises
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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