Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Randomize
