do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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