Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
