Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize