Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Its about making memories worth repressing
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
