You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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