why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
