I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Sorry about my life...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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