how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Randomize
