I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize