god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
