i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
