You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My ATM looks so different sober.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
