A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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