I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
