It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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