My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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