Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
cat food counts as protein by the way
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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