I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I could fuck to npr.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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