i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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