Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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