hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
