I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
