Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
