i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just pee around me
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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