She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
