Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
