So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
