with your own penis?
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
