Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
