i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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