I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
