theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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