he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
