Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
