its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
