My friends, they love my intelligence
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
