dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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