He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
