So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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