I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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