we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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