Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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