sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
