I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
