Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
