Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
did you just send me my own nude
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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