What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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