i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize