in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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