Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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