also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
