went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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