Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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