Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize