Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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