you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize