i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
This baby is an asshole
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
