So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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