were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
