Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I need a beard to bite.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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