please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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