I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
