There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
